Hello everyone, I am sharing a beautiful message that I came across about who your real life partner is. This is a beautiful message given by Shri Shri Ravi Shanker, a renowned spiritual guru from India.
I found it interesting and beautiful. Hope you will like it too.
Rumi says: ” What hurts youblesses you. Darkness is your candle “
When life crashes you down, you are deep down in emotional pain which only you can understand and experience. The pain is very personal. Life can put you down in many ways and many times like unhappy relationships, physical appearance like weight issues, heartbreaks, divorce, death of a loved one, sickness, disease, injury.
When you suffer such setbacks, you have a natural tendency of denial and trying to move on as fast as you can. But in the process, the recovery remains incomplete or even worse. I have been a very sensitive person myself in my entire life. So, I have always tried to look out and read for various ways by which a person can recover from any emotional healing. According to psychotherapy, it is important to experience the pain and slowly let the healing process in. It is necessary to feel the pain to let it heal. There are people around you who may have genuine concern about you, will advise you to move on as quick as possible. But in reality, the healing process does takes time to fill up the wound completely.
5 ways by which you can support your healing journey.
1.Acknowledge the pain: Respect and honour your pain for which you have suffered so much. Be it an emotional trauma or a physical illness, acknowledge the pain and experiencing it are important. When you let your emotional pain in, when you are emotionally drained, then only you can let the healing process to begin. Emotional pain can only heal when you let the healing process in. No amount of time or people, psychotherapist’s guidelines can heal your pain unless you acknowledge your pain and let the healing process in.
2.Overcome your mental barrier: When we suffer some kind of pain, we think we are bad human beings, we have been punished for our bad deeds. This mindset needs to change. Everyone goes through some pain and struggle through life. Pain and struggle are a part and parcel about life ‘s journey. Then again, self-doubt starts making us think if we deserve to heal. Yes, we are all very deserving to experience and enjoy life. Certain issues like being overweight, not a conventional good look, can even make you suffer emotionally. It is important to remember, that life is way beyond the superficial things. Accept the fact that external appearance isn’t so important in developing connections. Learn to stop judging yourself.
3.Dig out the source: Try to understand the source where your emotional pain appeared. Maybe the heartbreak, maybe the physical illness, maybe an emotional trauma during childhood or pain due to death of a loved one. Because when you dig in the source, then can you initiate the healing. Knowing the root, and working on it slowly helps you start healing.
4.Letting go: Let go of your fear and anxieties: Overthinking and worrying don’t let you heal. You have to let go of your anxieties, stress and fear which in turn will harm you more than doing any good for you. Even in case of physical illness, when you let go of your stress, there is a balance of the hormonal, nervous and immune systems which are all very much part of the healing process. Emotional healing starts to happen when you let go of stress completely.
5.Learn from the scar: Whether it’s an emotional scar or a physical scar, revisiting and rumination aren’t healthy at all. Ruminating the experience again and again, not only becomes toxic but even make it more difficult to heal and move on from the pain. Remember, everything around you changes, even your body’s cells undergo continuous transformation and regeneration, so leaving behind the pain and the past does help you heal faster and start refresh.
Science has already proved that every day, we generate about 70, 000 thoughts. Out of which, most of the thoughts are similar to those of the previous days. Some or most are negative thoughts of fear, worry, pain, hurt, anxiety which greatly affects our daily life and wellbeing while some can be positive thoughts of joy, gratitude, confidence, hope which helps us carry our day through.
So, our wellbeing, life, health are all driven by the thoughts that are generated in our mind daily. Therefore, thought hygiene is the continuous flow of thoughts that goes inside our mind throughout the day, about self, experiences and the world around us. If the majority of the thoughts are uplifting, or at least in coordination with our life goal, purpose, then it is wonderful and promotes our wellbeing. But when it is just the opposite or the ones which don’t motivate or uplift our life, then it is time to consciously put a continuous effort to change our thought hygiene.
4 simple ways of practising thought hygiene.
1.Awareness: Make a conscious effort to observe your thoughts every day. By simply observing, is already a big step that you have taken to control your mind. When you are aware of your thoughts, what kind of thoughts preoccupy your mind most of the time in the day, why and when do the negative thoughts come? You are simply taking charge of your mind. The more you become aware of them, the negative or the unwanted thoughts cannot affect you any longer. Slowly, you can turn those negative thoughts into positive and at least make them no longer affect you.
2.Change your inner attitude: It is important to change our inner attitude or approach towards life. Take life and experiences with lots of love and humour. This also means stopping yourself to take everything very seriously. Any experiences daily with life, personal, professional, social should be accepted as they are. Overthinking and analysing makes them bad or good. In this way, at least, you can accept life with more smiles and pleasant experiences.
3.Observing your behaviour: Start observing your behaviour, your action. Your habits are not formed today. It has been practised for quite a long time to turn them into your habitual behaviour and action. So, to change them, you need a continuous effort and awareness. We always blame or complain of ourselves or others for anything that didn’t happen as it should have been. Self-analyzing and self-criticizing is somewhat a subconscious behaviour that we have with most of us. Again criticising others or blaming others for something or the other is a common behaviour. So, when we become aware and start correcting or at least make a continuous effort to change such habits, thoughts and attitude, actions are bound to change and life becomes easier.
4.Start each day with a positive thought: Postive thoughts and affirmations are very powerful. At least, when you start the day with a positive thought, then carry on throughout the day with the positive affirmation, even if the day didn’t go so well, the negativity or the unpleasantness doesn’t affect you much. You still end the day with hope and look forward to the next day. When you are already thinking negatively, you are internally negative, none of the experiences in the day can be an uplifting or happy experience.