Post:4 ways of dealing with emotional sensitivity. How do I learn to be thick-skinned?

“As a highly sensitive person, every little thing elicits a strong reaction in me.”

― Tracy M. Kusmierz,

When it comes to dealing with life challenges, being thick skinned, is said to be wise. But is it not right to express your authentic feeling? Expressing your true feeling makes you the most lively and compassionate human being. Being sensitive doesn’t make you a weak or broken individual. Many successful people who happen to be sensitive have been very successful like Steve Jobs or Albert Einstein.

Psychologically, a sensitive person can have any personality trait. He or she can be either extrovert, introvert or in between. Sensitivity doesn’t make you a disadvantaged individual. Being sensitive to some extent can help you both in personal and professional lives.

The most important quality of a sensitive individual is you can easily empathise another person. You are more compassionate in dealing with matters. You tend to listen and understand more to other people’s need.
But yes, overstimulated or hyper reactiveness can have some negative impacts. You are more anxious and tensed up easily. You can get easily hurt and focus on negative thinking. You can never let go of your stress and pressure. You tend to always compare yourself with other people’s life and success. You harbour a fear of rejection in whatever you do. You tend to take things personally.
Being hypersensitive can be even more harmful leading to looming sadness, depression and suicidal tendencies.

So, how do I deal with my sensitivity in my day to day life? 4 ways to tackle this trait of yours.

1.Firstly, self-accepting the fact that yes, being sensitive is quite ok. Self-acceptance would help you to use sensitivity as your strength rather than a weakness. Being empathetic would help you resolve matter easily in both personal and professional field.

2.Self-assessment is important. Writing down or keeping yourself tracked in whichever aspects you are more emotional and sensitive would be wise. Identifying the triggers of your sensitivity would be very helpful. Being aware is the key. This will let you overcome the anxiety and tension and will help you understand yourself better.

3.Take things slowly and calm down. When you are clouded with anxious thoughts, you are unable to think clearly. You tend to get more sensitive and ruminate. So, take things slowly, breath, relax. So, once mentally, you are stable and cleared out, you realise, things are not that serious as you thought of.

4.Let out your emotions. Hiding your true feeling or tuning it down doesn’t do any good to both your physical and mental health. When you feel the hurt, pain, anger, let out your emotions. This will help you feel much lighter. Letting out emotions help you to move forward, take decisions further.

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Post: What does it mean to understand “self “? 5 understandings

Knowing oneself is the most important skill that we need to survive in this world. So, how is this sense of self-defined? Psychologically, “self” is defined as knowing his/her strengths/weaknesses, likes/dislikes and whatever traits, qualities, fears, desires, the person possess.

This sense of self is something that we develop over the years as we grow up. Depending on the environment, culture, values, thinking pattern that we grow to contribute to this sense of self. Therefore, self-awareness has been an interesting topic nowadays.

Self-awareness is the most basic, innate consciousness of our very own existence in this world. In fact, being self-aware helps not only to understand oneself but to understand other people’s perception, thoughts at the moment.

5 understandings for this sense of self:

1.Strong sense of self: Understanding “self” is very important as an individual because we are always under influence of other people, family members, co-workers, in society, social media (current times) and end number of sources. Therefore, having a strong sense of self, in spite of various influences, gives you clarity about your goals, purpose in life. It helps you maintain your self-esteem and confidence through your journey.

2.Realisation: Having a strong sense of self gives you a clear understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes. Therefore, you can choose your life path better, be it in career, following your interest, passion.

3.Believing yourself: Having a strong sense of self also contribute to your self-belief. Believing yourself is important while performing any task. Even if you face failure number of times, believing in yourself will surely sail you to success. Your self-belief helps you overcome the criticism and discouragement, you face from others. Because, in this world, all kinds of people exist, some would always criticise you, in spite of your success or failure while a few do encourage and uplift you.

4.Boundaries: Knowing self is very important in today’s time. When and what to say “no” is an important aspect of being strong to your sense of “self”. Today’s time is full of distractions, demands, obligations, requests, persuasions, peer pressures which can even mislead or cause self-destruction. So having a strong sense of self, knowing your boundaries is not just very important but help you remain stick to your goals and ambitions in life.

5.Time for yourself: Appreciation your own sense of self, giving time yourself, not only help you to understand yourself better but also help you grow as an individual. Therefore spending some time alone is not only healthy but useful to acknowledge and respect yourself as an identity.

Post: 5 wonderful ways to feel abundance free from scarcity thinking.

Why do we frequently have a feeling of being stuck? Why do we feel, we are yet to get our dream job? Why do feel we are yet to go on a dream vacation? Why do we feel we are yet to get the right opportunity?

Not only in professional life, but these questions do prop up also in our personal life? This happens when we focus on scarcity. When we have a mindset to focus on what we do not have.

So instead of what we do not have, let us shift our mindset to abundant thinking, on what we do have?

So then, how does the changing mindset helps? 5 wonderful ways:

  1. Start focus on abundance from your daily life. Start to appreciate the food, life, people around you, the roof, your friends and so on. Instead of a closed mind, your mind opens up, start seeing and appreciating things which you have never noticed. Once you start feeling abundance, your mind opens up to a positive vibe. Not just one day, develop this habit for each and every passing day. On a bad day too, instead of a sour mood, start to get things more organized, disciplined. You will bound to get results.
  2. At home, at work, everywhere you go, get the abundance vibe from other people. Instead, of feeling threatened or fear of other’s success, when you start appreciating them, you create yourself a safe abundant environment. You start to appreciate their lives and struggle. You can grow as an individual, a continuous positive vibe, non-judgemental thinking gives you an opportunity to look at every failure or success as milestones. You are more open and secured, you can take up further challenges without fearing failures.

3.Changing takes time. To develop an abundance thinking takes some time. Each time your mind goes back to old thoughts, keep reminding all the good things, good people you have. Practice gratitude daily. This is a powerful tool to experience abundance and happiness in life. You can create your own daily abundance affirmations. Feeling abundance gives happiness despite circumstances. You feel whole, satisfied.

4.Focus what is going right in your life. Focusing on what is going right gives your brain a more holistic and larger approach to problems in life. You can derive the right decisions and solutions easily with a more open and optimistic approach. You are more creative and inspired by life.

5.Being self-aware is the thumb rule. Self-awareness helps you be aware of your thoughts, language and behaviour. It is a powerful tool to bring out a new change, built a new habit in our life. By being aware, you make a conscious effort to check the thoughts that come and shift them towards abundance. Feeling plentiful gives you a satisfying life.

Post : 5 ways to improve my self image.

Self-image literally means one’s personal view of oneself in regard to physicality and personality traits. Psychologically, it’s our ‘self scheme’ our own information of different traits that we perceive about ourselves that are already stored in our memory. 

3 dimensions of self-image are :

  • My personal opinion on me
  • How do others perceive me?
  • How I want others to perceive me?

As a positive self image can be favourable, advantageous, a negative self- image can be self – hurting, low self- esteem, low self -confidence, self -critical and pessimistic. Interestingly, many people have both, more or less depending on the different traits they have. 

5 ways to improve my self image in my everyday life.

1.Self – acceptance is important. Loving and accepting the way I am, will make life less complicated en route to the ups and downs of life.

2. Building a self – image realistically based on my strengths and limitations will increase my self- regard rather than based on idealistic views as nobody is perfect in this world.

3.It is important to keep a level of self – awareness to make a continuous effort to evolve as a better person to experience peace and happiness in life. 

4.Whatever good things and success have happened in life so far, enjoy to the fullest, build up more positive energy and move ahead. 

5.Every individual is unique. Never compare your success or failure with someone else. This will lead to shallowness and insecurities. 

Chasing my material goals and success is good, but at the same time, experiencing my emotional state of self achievement and fulfilment is motivating.  



Post: Self healing….

Self – healing

Your body has the unique power and capabilities of self healing. No matter what you are going through, your body has the power, knowledge and wisdom to heal on its own. Its time to start exercising this ability…

The hidden truth about our own body is it has an innate capacity to heal on its own in all possible ways. Our body is not a single entity, in fact it is a community of 50 trillion cells which are in harmony and work through a single guiding voice, our mind. The mind and body has a natural homeostasis to keep us in a healthy state of being. The body does not go where our mind doesn’t take it. But then, why do we fall sick ? It is because due to our daily routine stress and a host of emotional and physical strain, this homeostasis is disrupted. Hence, comes the disease state ranging from common to severe illnesses. Therefore, our normal state of being is completely disturbed. So, when this happens, awareness of this state is our first intention.

Firstly , be aware of the internal or external factors that must have led to this imbalance. By simply being aware, we can slowly curb those factors from our life by conscious efforts. Slowly, we should try to restore back the natural balance in our mind and body, our natural state of being. Trying to focus on healthy choices in our routine life with a positive frame of mind. Once, this is done, our body starts healing on its own. Its spontaneously goes into a state of recovery. Thought ,this is not an easy task. Our belief to heal ourselves is the only driving force.

This is very unusual for an experienced medical professional like me to emphasise on self – healing. But, in reality , this is a genuine fact. Healing of any sort of illness happens when we believe that we can heal. Doctors and drugs can only facilitate the process. But the biggest problem here is that we don’t trust our mind and body. We don’t trust our abilities.It has been in our subconscious mind that have been installed from our very childhood, if we fall sick, we need to visit a doctor, pop up a pill or need an external agent to heal. This has been hard wired in our brain. So, every time, we feel unwell, we need some external agent to feel better. Above all, our mind is constantly nagged by a negative force, limiting beliefs, tons of garbage of wrong perceptions which we may not be even aware of. All these reasons clubbed together make us impossible to heal. 

Healing becomes very difficult, not just physically but even mentally.In fact, even without any physical ailment, we tend to feel sick because of our mental state. So, the simple tip to lead a healthy physical life is to have a healthy mind. If we have a strong, healthy mind, any kind of physical imbalance can be corrected eventually. In our daily routine life of physical exercise, activity, at least some quantity of time is required to slow down , to meditate and relax our mind. If not possible in the daytime, at least before going to bed or early morning before starting the day.At the end of the day, we know, life is beautiful and short. And we have tons of reasons to be grateful for.