Post: 2 intrinsic rewards behind adapting to a healthy lifestyle.

“Happiness lies, first of all, in health.” George William Curtis

Whatever your goal is, maintaining a fit body, weight loss, maintaining your blood sugar, cholesterol or reducing stress, adopting changes in lifestyle is not hard. But maintaining them is a tough calling. Old habits are hard to quit.

Avoiding a piece of brownie, or an extra glass of wine during Christmas or thanksgiving is far less appealing than on a normal routine day. You have no time to think about that extra calories in those moments. Hitting the gym or jogging in the morning on a cold chilling winter doesn’t seem appealing at all even if it may affect your lifestyle changes goal.

Evidence-based researches have shown that people get motivated to adopt and maintain their lifestyle goals based on 2 types of reward system.

1.Hedonia; When lifestyle goal is associated with more superficial outcomes like you are looking good, losing weight, your wrinkles have reduced, your belly fat has reduced. These rewards are short-lived, gives you superficial pleasures and temporary satisfaction but lack a deeper meaning or a purpose. So, when you default your routine, may give you unhappiness as you will miss the superficial outcomes.

2.Eudaimonia: When your goal is attached to a more deeper meaning or a purpose, you tend to get motivated longer or even life long. In the process, lifestyle changes don’t become a forceful routine but instead, turn into spontaneous habits which gives you more lasting benefits. Emotions are mainly expressed due to the limbic brain. When we are deeply happy, contented, this feeling has a lasting memory in the structures amygdala and hippocampus. So, when you have a purpose, a satisfying meaning which gives happiness, attached to your lifestyle changes, you are always motivated to follow.

Some examples of different scenarios while attaching your lifestyle goal to a purpose :

A middle-aged woman has started to become physically active, taking her exercises regularly to build up more stamina to look after and play with her grandchildren.

A young loving husband who was obsessed with junk food and alcohol, have started to quit his habits and adapt to a healthy lifestyle for the sake of his wife and his newborn child.

A young man or a woman who had a past unhealthy way of eating, irregular routine start to adapt healthy eating and lifestyle for the sake of his/her career.

A doting grandfather starts taking care of his diet and maintains his routine physical activity so that his diabetes is better controlled and that he can be alive for a long time to spend his days with his growing grandchildren.

Attaching lifestyle goal with a purpose, not only help you in overall health-related aspects but have also other hidden rewards. You are more in charge of your life, you have self-acceptance and self-respect as an individual, believing yourself better, improved relationship with others and overall personal growth.

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Post:4 ways of dealing with emotional sensitivity. How do I learn to be thick-skinned?

“As a highly sensitive person, every little thing elicits a strong reaction in me.”

― Tracy M. Kusmierz,

When it comes to dealing with life challenges, being thick skinned, is said to be wise. But is it not right to express your authentic feeling? Expressing your true feeling makes you the most lively and compassionate human being. Being sensitive doesn’t make you a weak or broken individual. Many successful people who happen to be sensitive have been very successful like Steve Jobs or Albert Einstein.

Psychologically, a sensitive person can have any personality trait. He or she can be either extrovert, introvert or in between. Sensitivity doesn’t make you a disadvantaged individual. Being sensitive to some extent can help you both in personal and professional lives.

The most important quality of a sensitive individual is you can easily empathise another person. You are more compassionate in dealing with matters. You tend to listen and understand more to other people’s need.
But yes, overstimulated or hyper reactiveness can have some negative impacts. You are more anxious and tensed up easily. You can get easily hurt and focus on negative thinking. You can never let go of your stress and pressure. You tend to always compare yourself with other people’s life and success. You harbour a fear of rejection in whatever you do. You tend to take things personally.
Being hypersensitive can be even more harmful leading to looming sadness, depression and suicidal tendencies.

So, how do I deal with my sensitivity in my day to day life? 4 ways to tackle this trait of yours.

1.Firstly, self-accepting the fact that yes, being sensitive is quite ok. Self-acceptance would help you to use sensitivity as your strength rather than a weakness. Being empathetic would help you resolve matter easily in both personal and professional field.

2.Self-assessment is important. Writing down or keeping yourself tracked in whichever aspects you are more emotional and sensitive would be wise. Identifying the triggers of your sensitivity would be very helpful. Being aware is the key. This will let you overcome the anxiety and tension and will help you understand yourself better.

3.Take things slowly and calm down. When you are clouded with anxious thoughts, you are unable to think clearly. You tend to get more sensitive and ruminate. So, take things slowly, breath, relax. So, once mentally, you are stable and cleared out, you realise, things are not that serious as you thought of.

4.Let out your emotions. Hiding your true feeling or tuning it down doesn’t do any good to both your physical and mental health. When you feel the hurt, pain, anger, let out your emotions. This will help you feel much lighter. Letting out emotions help you to move forward, take decisions further.

Post: 3 complex realities of emotional insecurity.

No theories to date can explain the complexities of the human mind and its responses. Each individual has his or her share of emotion and fear. Some express it while some keep it to themselves. The underlying cause of all emotions is mostly fear. Fear of failure, loss of loved ones, worthlessness, loneliness and so on.

This underlying fear is expressed in a person’s behaviour and personality often as anger, hurt, sadness and arrogance. Therefore, emotional insecurity is psychologically dealt with as a borderline personality disorder.

3 important realities.

  1. Any unpleasant event in childhood, physical attributes, disturbed childhood maybe some of the reasons to contribute to emotional insecurity. These fears and insecurities get resurfaced when we run towards our goal or success in the life journey. When we get into a relationship or try accomplishing a certain task, we come across our fear or insecurity. When fear, insecurity becomes overpowering, such an individual cannot take up failure so easily. Such a person easily collapsed into depression, drugs and drinking.

2. Many of us have our image of perfection, be it in a relationship, at work, success, materialistic life. Wherever we go, our insecurities follow. When insecurities are overwhelming, the person would exhibit in terms of conflicting behaviour, anger, hatred, aggressiveness or jealousy in whatever areas his fear exist. Strangely, he becomes vindictive in attitude and tries to show up his best image of perfection. But in the process, his conflicted state of mind not only affect his life and also ruin his personal relationships, job or success.

3. We all have fear and insecurity. As long as I can control my mind and fear, it doesn’t affect my life much. So self-realization is an important aspect. Understanding and acknowledging my own fear, insecurity, help me to move forward in life. Self-acceptance and self-reassurance are important keys in building up of my emotional security and overcoming my mental barrier. We need not be preoccupied with the idea of perfection of an image in a relationship, work or success. With an emotionally secured mind, I can be happy despite my circumstances.