Post : When life puts you down? 5 ways to self help your emotional healing process.

Rumi says: ” What hurts you blesses you. Darkness is your candle “

When life crashes you down, you are deep down in emotional pain which only you can understand and experience. The pain is very personal. Life can put you down in many ways and many times like unhappy relationships, physical appearance like weight issues, heartbreaks, divorce, death of a loved one, sickness, disease, injury.

When you suffer such setbacks, you have a natural tendency of denial and trying to move on as fast as you can. But in the process, the recovery remains incomplete or even worse. I have been a very sensitive person myself in my entire life. So, I have always tried to look out and read for various ways by which a person can recover from any emotional healing. According to psychotherapy, it is important to experience the pain and slowly let the healing process in. It is necessary to feel the pain to let it heal. There are people around you who may have genuine concern about you, will advise you to move on as quick as possible. But in reality, the healing process does takes time to fill up the wound completely.

5 ways by which you can support your healing journey.

1.Acknowledge the pain: Respect and honour your pain for which you have suffered so much. Be it an emotional trauma or a physical illness, acknowledge the pain and experiencing it are important. When you let your emotional pain in, when you are emotionally drained, then only you can let the healing process to begin. Emotional pain can only heal when you let the healing process in. No amount of time or people, psychotherapist’s guidelines can heal your pain unless you acknowledge your pain and let the healing process in.

2.Overcome your mental barrier: When we suffer some kind of pain, we think we are bad human beings, we have been punished for our bad deeds. This mindset needs to change. Everyone goes through some pain and struggle through life. Pain and struggle are a part and parcel about life ‘s journey. Then again, self-doubt starts making us think if we deserve to heal. Yes, we are all very deserving to experience and enjoy life. Certain issues like being overweight, not a conventional good look, can even make you suffer emotionally. It is important to remember, that life is way beyond the superficial things. Accept the fact that external appearance isn’t so important in developing connections. Learn to stop judging yourself.

3.Dig out the source: Try to understand the source where your emotional pain appeared. Maybe the heartbreak, maybe the physical illness, maybe an emotional trauma during childhood or pain due to death of a loved one. Because when you dig in the source, then can you initiate the healing. Knowing the root, and working on it slowly helps you start healing.

4.Letting go: Let go of your fear and anxieties: Overthinking and worrying don’t let you heal. You have to let go of your anxieties, stress and fear which in turn will harm you more than doing any good for you. Even in case of physical illness, when you let go of your stress, there is a balance of the hormonal, nervous and immune systems which are all very much part of the healing process. Emotional healing starts to happen when you let go of stress completely.

5.Learn from the scar: Whether it’s an emotional scar or a physical scar, revisiting and rumination aren’t healthy at all. Ruminating the experience again and again, not only becomes toxic but even make it more difficult to heal and move on from the pain. Remember, everything around you changes, even your body’s cells undergo continuous transformation and regeneration, so leaving behind the pain and the past does help you heal faster and start refresh.

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Post:4 ways of dealing with emotional sensitivity. How do I learn to be thick-skinned?

“As a highly sensitive person, every little thing elicits a strong reaction in me.”

― Tracy M. Kusmierz,

When it comes to dealing with life challenges, being thick skinned, is said to be wise. But is it not right to express your authentic feeling? Expressing your true feeling makes you the most lively and compassionate human being. Being sensitive doesn’t make you a weak or broken individual. Many successful people who happen to be sensitive have been very successful like Steve Jobs or Albert Einstein.

Psychologically, a sensitive person can have any personality trait. He or she can be either extrovert, introvert or in between. Sensitivity doesn’t make you a disadvantaged individual. Being sensitive to some extent can help you both in personal and professional lives.

The most important quality of a sensitive individual is you can easily empathise another person. You are more compassionate in dealing with matters. You tend to listen and understand more to other people’s need.
But yes, overstimulated or hyper reactiveness can have some negative impacts. You are more anxious and tensed up easily. You can get easily hurt and focus on negative thinking. You can never let go of your stress and pressure. You tend to always compare yourself with other people’s life and success. You harbour a fear of rejection in whatever you do. You tend to take things personally.
Being hypersensitive can be even more harmful leading to looming sadness, depression and suicidal tendencies.

So, how do I deal with my sensitivity in my day to day life? 4 ways to tackle this trait of yours.

1.Firstly, self-accepting the fact that yes, being sensitive is quite ok. Self-acceptance would help you to use sensitivity as your strength rather than a weakness. Being empathetic would help you resolve matter easily in both personal and professional field.

2.Self-assessment is important. Writing down or keeping yourself tracked in whichever aspects you are more emotional and sensitive would be wise. Identifying the triggers of your sensitivity would be very helpful. Being aware is the key. This will let you overcome the anxiety and tension and will help you understand yourself better.

3.Take things slowly and calm down. When you are clouded with anxious thoughts, you are unable to think clearly. You tend to get more sensitive and ruminate. So, take things slowly, breath, relax. So, once mentally, you are stable and cleared out, you realise, things are not that serious as you thought of.

4.Let out your emotions. Hiding your true feeling or tuning it down doesn’t do any good to both your physical and mental health. When you feel the hurt, pain, anger, let out your emotions. This will help you feel much lighter. Letting out emotions help you to move forward, take decisions further.

Post: 3 complex realities of emotional insecurity.

No theories to date can explain the complexities of the human mind and its responses. Each individual has his or her share of emotion and fear. Some express it while some keep it to themselves. The underlying cause of all emotions is mostly fear. Fear of failure, loss of loved ones, worthlessness, loneliness and so on.

This underlying fear is expressed in a person’s behaviour and personality often as anger, hurt, sadness and arrogance. Therefore, emotional insecurity is psychologically dealt with as a borderline personality disorder.

3 important realities.

  1. Any unpleasant event in childhood, physical attributes, disturbed childhood maybe some of the reasons to contribute to emotional insecurity. These fears and insecurities get resurfaced when we run towards our goal or success in the life journey. When we get into a relationship or try accomplishing a certain task, we come across our fear or insecurity. When fear, insecurity becomes overpowering, such an individual cannot take up failure so easily. Such a person easily collapsed into depression, drugs and drinking.

2. Many of us have our image of perfection, be it in a relationship, at work, success, materialistic life. Wherever we go, our insecurities follow. When insecurities are overwhelming, the person would exhibit in terms of conflicting behaviour, anger, hatred, aggressiveness or jealousy in whatever areas his fear exist. Strangely, he becomes vindictive in attitude and tries to show up his best image of perfection. But in the process, his conflicted state of mind not only affect his life and also ruin his personal relationships, job or success.

3. We all have fear and insecurity. As long as I can control my mind and fear, it doesn’t affect my life much. So self-realization is an important aspect. Understanding and acknowledging my own fear, insecurity, help me to move forward in life. Self-acceptance and self-reassurance are important keys in building up of my emotional security and overcoming my mental barrier. We need not be preoccupied with the idea of perfection of an image in a relationship, work or success. With an emotionally secured mind, I can be happy despite my circumstances.